Sure, anybody can control temperatures inside, but what about outside? Outside is much bigger than inside and many people spend at least part of their day there. Temperature change outside can inconvenience millions of people. Women, minorities, and the poor are hit particularly hard. Politicians have been ignoring the phenomena, pretending that it does not exist, even though temperature change is settled science. Pretty much all scientists agree that temperature change is real. There is a consensus, except for Joe Sacrilege, Professor of Middle Eastern Studies at Rio Linda University. Crazy Joe, as his friends call him, is a temperature change denier.

Since each degree of global temperature change inflicts a measurable amount of suffering, we have decided to organize the Foundation Against Temperature Change Outside (FATCO). The goal of the Foundation will be to increase the level of awareness of temperature change and take concrete steps to reduce temperature change by one degree every ten years. FATCO will establish a temperature change misery index, modeled after the Jimmy Carter misery index. The index will show people at a glance the degree of suffering they will experience if they step outside. Some FATCO insiders have suggested that the index should be called “thermometer”. Perhaps, we’ll see.

To generate revenue, so FATCO founders can eat, FATCO will sell “degree-credits” to Hollywood types and Al Gore acolytes. Degree-credits will come in two denominations “Fahrenheit” and “Celsius”. FATCO mathematicians will develop an extremely complicated exchange rate formula that will confuse even the smartest layman. Purchasing degree-credits will allow important people to continue causing as much temperature change as their lifestyle requires, without feeling guilty. For each degree-credit sold, FATCO will arrange for a less important person to stay an extra hour inside, reducing his impact on the outside.

To reach the masses, FATCO will launch an aggressive public relations campaign to educate the media and indoctrinate young children, modeled after Al Gore’s climate change enterprise.

Schools will have to issue a warning before they show pupils Al Gore’s controversial film about global warming, a judge indicated yesterday. The move follows a High Court action by a father who accused the Government of ‘brainwashing’ children with propaganda by showing it in the classroom.

Stewart Dimmock said the former U.S. Vice-President’s documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, is unfit for schools because it is politically biased and contains serious scientific inaccuracies and ‘sentimental mush’.

He wants the video banned after it was distributed with four other short films to 3,500 schools in February.

Mr Justice Burton is due to deliver a ruling on the case next week, but yesterday he said he would be saying that Gore’s Oscar-winning film does promote ‘partisan political views’.

This means that teachers will have to warn pupils that there are other opinions on global warming and they should not necessarily accept the views of the film.

He said: ‘The result is I will be declaring that, with the guidance as now amended, it will not be unlawful for the film to be shown.’

…

Mr Dimmock, a lorry driver from Dover with children aged 11 and 14, said at the outset of the hearing: ‘I wish my children to have the best education possible, free from bias and political spin, and Mr Gore’s film falls far short of the standard required.’

His solicitor John Day, said yesterday that the Government had been forced to make ‘a U-turn’, but said it did not go far enough.

He said ‘no amount of turgid guidance’ could change the fact that the film is unfit for consumption in the classroom.

The case arises from a decision in February by the then Education Secretary Alan Johnson that DVDs of the film would be sent to all secondary schools in England, along with a multimedia CD produced by the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs containing two short films about climate change and an animation about the carbon cycle.

David Miliband, who was Environment-Secretary when the school packs were announced, said at the time: ‘The debate over the science of climate change is well and truly over.’

But during the three-day hearing, the court heard that the critically acclaimed film contains a number of inaccuracies, exaggerations and statements about global warming for which there is currently insufficient scientific evidence.

The Climate Change Resource Pack has now been sent to more than 3,500 schools and is aimed at key stage 3 pupils – those aged 11 to

Children’s Minister Kevin Brennan said last night: ‘The judge’s decision is clear that schools can continue to use An Inconvenient Truth as part of their teaching on climate change in accordance with the amended guidance, which will be available online today.

Basically, the judge ruled that Algore’s movie does constitute brainwashing. However, the judge also ruled that he himself and the political elites have already been brainwashed. So go ahead and show the movie. As long as you put a warning label on it, stating that some crazies may hold different views, it is OK.

King Solomon he is not!