After the Mark Foley incident and resulting 2006 electoral drubbing, you would think that the Republicans would keep their tools in the box for a couple of years. But some did not get the message.
Senator Larry Craig, R-Idaho, was fined for attempting hanky panky in an airport men’s restroom. Apparently, the Senator harassed the fellow in the next stall by tapping a secret gay code with his right foot. Don’t try to visualize this at home; it is not an appealing scene.
Scott Adams, inventor of Dilbert, has a great take on why the phenomenon of “Y sexually harasses X” occurs so frequently in nature.
As regular readers of this blog know, all coincidences are clues that we are holograms programmed by our long dead ancestors before the planet was annihilated. How else could you explain the two stories forwarded to me today?
1. A Republican Senator has been arrested for lewd conduct in a restroom.
2. Monkeys are sexually harassing women.
This is a classic case of code reuse by our lazy ancestors who created our hologram. It’s practically the same story, i.e. an ugly male primate engages in allegedly inappropriate sexual advances. The programmers simply randomized some of the less important elements such as the type of primate, the location, and the intended sex partners. And remember this comes on the heels of the story I wrote about recently: Dwarf has sex with vacuum cleaner. It’s the same damned story with different characters.
Indeed, all of the news is nothing but basic stories with randomized features. Watch as I predict tomorrow’s headlines today:
EXTREME WEATHER BATTERS SOMEPLACE
IDIOTS KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE
POLITICIAN DOES SOMETHING ILLEGAL
PRIMATE ATTEMPTS INAPPROPRIATE SEX
EXPERTS WARN OF FINANCIAL CALAMITY
BIG COMPANY BUYS ANOTHER BIG COMPANY
FAMOUS PERSON DOES SOMETHING INTERESTING
A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY MIGHT BE USEFUL IN TEN YEARS
