Everything that ails Western Civilization was on display in Johannesburg, South Africa, where a group of hard core communists, mummified socialists, the greatest thief in history, an egomaniacal billionaire, and an entertainment celebrity, announced that they have formed a council of elders to run the world.
“The Elders can become a fiercely independent and robust force for good, tackling conflicts and intractable issues, especially those that are not popular,” said Mr Mandela.
The group will “speak freely and boldly, working both publicly and behind the scenes, working wherever our help is needed”.
So, pray tell, who are these wise men?
There will eventually be 12 Global Elders – but the exact make-up of the group was in flux right up until yesterday’s announcement.
As well as Mr Mandela and his wife, Graca Machel, the group comprises Desmond Tutu, the Anglican Archbishop Emeritus of Cape Town; Jimmy Carter, the former American president; Mary Robinson, the former Irish president; Kofi Annan, the former secretary general of the United Nations; and Muhammad Yunus, the Nobel laureate economist and founder of the Green Bank in Bangladesh, where he is known as “banker to the poor”. All were at the launch in Johannesburg yesterday.
Li Zhaoxing, until two months ago the foreign minister of China, has also been invited to join, along with Ela Bhatt, the Indian activist and founder of a women’s association. Gro Harlen Bruntland, formerly prime minister of Norway and director of the World Health Organization, may also become a member.
An empty chair was set on stage yesterday and will be reserved at all Elders meetings for the Burmese opposition leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, who is now the prisoner of the military junta despite her victory in a democratic election in 1990.
Jimmy is back, whoopee! They are not just Elders they are GLOBAL Elders? Is that like Galactic? Of course, they have the mandatory Muhammad and a Chicom (Chinese communist) poet. The empty chair is by far our favorite elder. How will the Council operate? Will their work be open and transparent?
Archbishop Tutu emphasized that much of their work is likely to take place behind closed doors. “There may be things we can accomplish because people have been able to use their persuasive abilities in confidence. One of the ways to be effective is that no one gets to know precisely what we have done,” he said.
But if their work is in private, it will be hard to gauge the Elders’ success or failure.
Precisely! Skeptics wonder whether a group of 12 Alte Kockers (usually translated politely as Yiddish for “oldsters” but literally “old shitters”) can really solve the world’s problems without a large supply of Depends. Much will depend on Mandela’s moral authority, since he is frail and rarely leaves home.
“Together we will work to support courage where there is fear, foster agreement where there is conflict and inspire hope where there is despair,” he said.
Sounds like code. Processing it through our renowned antisemitism detection cipher, we get the following translation. Courage means martyrdom in the name of Allah. Conflict means Israeli occupation of Arab lands. Despair means the suffering of the Palestinian people. Hope, of course, means the destruction of the Zionist entity.
Just because we are paranoid does not mean that they don’t kill Jews.
Update: Here is another group with a blue print for world order, The Earth Charter Initiative. Like the Kofi Elders, the Charter bunch seek, not only to regulate your life, but to transfer your money to wiser people than you. For good causes, of course!
